shabby blog

Sunday, May 29, 2011

The Willow or The Oak?

You come to me in the midst of the storms maze
With daggers and swords ready to fight through the haze
Not realizing the storm has been brewing some time
Wanting your words to be heard but not listening to mine

As if I am an ancient, wise old oak tree
With a trunk so solid and big as can be
So strong, so invincible, all knowing in view
Taking on all the turmoil those winds can brew

I feel the burden like a willow’s weeping limbs
Heavy with rain and snow all over again
As if it isn’t enough heavy a sack
I feel that monkey you’ve thrown on my back

Those words you wish to share with me
On deaf ears have fallen you see
The weight of the rain, the snow and the ice
Won’t allow me to hear what you’ve shouted out twice

Pulling my limbs close within my little trunk
Putting off the scent of the frightened little skunk
I nurture my soul, my spirit and all
And softly begin your words to recall

Quietly I realize you had lots to say
Time has allowed down my burdens to lay
Enough to feel the clearness of the sense in it all
And to say I hear you, I hear your call

Speak firmly but gently and express yourself well
You never know when it will break the spell
That shatters your picture of the oak you see
And allows instead the picture of the weeping willow tree

Incredible Fear



What I can't say to you
Because you can't hear
Are words that promote
Our incredible fear

To be nurtured and loved
To take your breath away
And be open to enjoying
Each and every day

Not smothering or owning
Not until death do us part
Just an open invitation
To knowing each others hearts

No promise of forever
No “Let me lead the way”
Just an excitement between us
That no words can say

But you can't hear
What I have to say
As we can't seem to see
But the end of the play

What could have been
Was not a forever
Nor the love of your life
Forever together

Maybe we both want it
Maybe we fear it so
That neither will have it
Cause we can't let go

I in my need and you in yours
We travel long side each other
Looking for the same
Only with another

So I'll say the words
That I know you can't hear
I'll invoke between us
That incredible fear

The need to be held
To feel you inside
Deep in my body
Where my heart resides

Friday, May 27, 2011

I AM A SEEKER

I am a seeker, wishing to know
What is out there, high or low
Need the answer no matter what
Need to know what I forgot

A spirit in a human place
Floating around in this space
In a body that contains me well
Like a magical potion or spell

I am a seeker and I know there is more
I keep opening windows, opening doors
To see what is out there even when
The answers are really within

Go quietly and seek the real truth
That you knew even before your youth
It isn’t on the outside, it isn’t in words
It is within yourself often seeming absurd

Maybe you’ll believe it and maybe you don’t
Maybe you’ll still seek it out and maybe you won’t
Let the brain go to sleep yet you stay awake
And some sense of it all, you will make

Being a seeker is a great thing to be
But seeking answers inside of thee
Outside sources can help you seek
If you accept them as where to peep

Knowing is one thing, guidance is another
What you do can help you to discover
Not create nor control but to go within
And receive the answers right then

Saturday, May 21, 2011

God's Free Gifts

Wake up in the morning, embrace a new day
It will be a great one, better make hay
Birds will be singing, the flowers in bloom
Open all the blinds, let the sun shine in the room

Smell the morning coffee, sitting on your patio
Read the morning paper, the birds put on a show
Listen really carefully and hear the stillness near
And know its God’s creation, never any fear

See the green leaves moving, slightly with the breeze
Watch the squirrels moving round with ease
Little critter crawling across the patio floor
Cobwebs have grown around the back door

Been a long time since I noticed the spirit of the land
Laid in the darkness long enough, couldn’t hear the band
Was dark and cold and lonely and really felt controlled
Until I realized I’d made myself in that mold

Now that I’ve embraced the morning, with God’s free gifts
I want to sing and yell and give everyone a kiss
It’s all free and easy and yet we make it so much work
To live God’s life and take Him up on all the perks

So get up every morning and sing along with the birds
Don’t lay around and wish for something so absurd
As boredom certainly will find you if there isn’t any risk
Get up, get moving, live your life like a passionate kiss


Thursday, May 19, 2011

As I Lay Awake

As I lay awake this night
A blanket of fear covers me tight
Yet I know I'll cross to the other side
Will I take my heart or let it hide

Come out come out wherever you are
No need to hide, I'm never far
Under a blanket covered in fear
Lies the heart beating so clear

A bridge crossing over to there
Which could lead to anywhere
I'm afraid as I gently glide across
Yet I know I must accept or be lost

For to love, even oneself
We must come down off the shelf
Remove the blanket after all
Let life happen, wherever it falls

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Didn't Know It Was A Healing

I didn't know it was a healing, coming round that bend
Until I found myself in that dark hole again
I didn't know it was a healing coming through the door
Until I found myself laid out cold on the floor

It comes on quite unexpectedly it creeps under my skin
Before I even catch my breath it has me once again
Fighting and silently screaming all the way, I plead
Oh God, my life I still wish to lead

It rushes on, engulfing me until I lose my breath
And as that curtain begins to drop I think it is my death
The light begins to turn and I gulp a great big sigh
A wounded child is crying somewhere deep inside

Memories flood and once again my tears begin to pour
My heart beats fast, I think I'll die right here on the floor
Then I feel this great big sigh and know once again
That deep dark hole I feel is where the healing begins

The light begins to filter through and I begin to see
Emerging from the darkest hole is a brand new me
Once more I feel alive yet exhausted as I lay
Motionless yet no longer dreading one more day

I've taken the time, I've have done my work
My life begins to heal yet I know darkness still lurks
I realize that deep dark scary feeling
Isn't a curse but a down right healing.